In honour of having just registered for my first half marathon (13.1 miles), and it being so close to the New Year, I'm here to write up some goals of mine for the new year.
In no particular order:
1. Running a half marathon.
I started running last summer for the first time since middle school (track: hurdles, 100m dash, high jump) or whatever conditioning we would do in soccer, but that was all short distance stuff. A girl at the bootcamp I was going to needed another team member for a 12 girl relay team that was going to run 185 miles in just over a day. Crazy, right? I figured it would be a good way to make some possible friends since I don't get out much as a mom, and I was right.
The race was grueling and I don't think I had conditioned for it as much as I should have, but I've done 4 or 5 more races since, but all 10K and under, so this year, I'm kicking it up a notch. I'm registered for the Snake River Half Marathon on March 5th.
2. Time Management.
Like my sister-in-law, Joanna, and probably most mothers, this is something I struggle with. I spend a lot of time online, and need to take a look at my priorities. Somewhat along these lines, I'm also determined to try and keep my house cleaner this year (and build good habits that last) and stay on top of chores instead of letting them pile up during the day, or week, or whatever.
3. Eating healthier.
I graze a lot during the day, and while I'm certainly not overweight, I would sure like to lose those extra few pounds around my middle. Also, drinking more water.
4. Exercising regularly.
I stopped going to bootcamp due to cost and that it didn't fit into my schedule very well, and need to start doing my own workouts at home.
5. Finishing projects.
I have a horrible habit of starting these wonderful projects, but then getting bored halfway through and quitting. Or sometimes I just really don't have time for them. On the projects list: my dollhouse, my quilt, a painting I did for Phil, and my children's book.
6. Being a more patient/interactive mom.
Some days when I'm tired or the kids are driving me crazy, it's so easy to just pop in a movie and let them entertain themselves for a little bit. Which is fine some of the time, I think, but I'd like to work harder at doing stuff with my kids. And being patient. I have a bad temper, which only gets worse if i don't sleep enough. I'm going to work (and pray about) not using my "bad mommy voice" Not that I scream at my kids, but it's not the gentle, loving way I should be talking to them.
7. Reading my Bible/Praying more.
My walk with the Lord is pretty sad right now. I am a Christian, but apart from going to church/meeting on Sundays, there isn't much evidence of it.
This list is getting pretty lofty, and it seems unlikely that I'll be able to fully accomplish everything on it, but there it is. I'm going to try. And I'm going to go off right now and work on some chores before Phil gets home (#2!) and then start making decorations for Oliver's birthday party and planning his cake.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Home, Sweet Home!
Home at last! We got home yesterday, but I was restraining myself and put off getting out my laptop and getting online until this morning. So much catching up to do!
Okay, first of all, let me tell you that we thought the drive down would take about 15 hours. A long time sure, but we planned on doing most of the driving at night while the kids were asleep, and compared to having to buy four plane tickets (plus whatever extra fees they decide to throw at you) and renting a car when we got there (add extra fees since Phil and I are both under 25...) driving was much more affordable.
Well, everything was going according to plan, we left around 6:30 p.m. (Sunday, December 19) got snacks and gas and headed out. Enter Montana and it's blizzards. We couldn't go much faster than 45 mph, which slowed the trip down to about a 24 hour drive instead of 15. We got there safely though, and Phil's Grandma was just happy as could be to have all her great-grandchildren visiting her.
Tuesday, we went and got a few groceries early in the morning (I wish our Target was a Super Target!) and in the afternoon went to the Aquarium. It looked pretty small from the outside, but the inside was huge! Plus, they had a random tiger there, so that was cool. The boys had a blast there, and if I weren't so tired/lazy, I'd upload the pictures now and add them to the post, but that will just have to wait.
Wednesday we went out and did some Christmas shopping at the Colorado Mills mall near the grandparents' house. Although, we had to make quite a few stops there, so Phil thought of it as a second home) We found a super cute neon orange vinyl giraffe for Oakley that he loves (and was on clearance!), a book for Elliot, (Oliver had gotten a train that morning at the Target), I got some new bras (ones that fit! but that's a different story....), and a super cute pair of heels that were a ridiculously good price. Brian, my brother-in-law asked me how many pairs of heels I own.. I didn't know, so I'll have to count them soon.
Thursday we took the morning slow, and went to the zoo in the late morning. This was not really great planning on our part, since the kids were cranky and needing naps not long after we got there. Also, the batteries in my camera were dying. Not my favourite. This happened last year when we went to the Seattle zoo, so now two years in a row, I barely have any pictures of the kids at a zoo, but whatever. Also on Thursday, we got something fixed on our Jeep. We are so grateful that we bought the extended warrantee, since the part that would normally have cost over $1000 cost us only $100 including diagnostics and labour. Something about a control module or something? I don't know much about the car parts, and I doubt any of my readers do either, but in case you were wondering. That night, after the kids had gone to bed, Phil and I went out with his sister and brother, and got ice cream at ColdStone, shopped a bit at Barnes and Nobles (note: a rewards card for Borders will NOT work here, my mistake.) and then I got a pair shoes at DSW, and we shopped at Old Navy since they were staying open all night for the holidays. I'm not sure why, but since I got a bunch of stuff that was priced $10 or less, I was okay with it. :)
Friday, poor Oakley woke up sick and throwing up. We didn't do much but sit around reading (which was fine with me since I got a new book for Christmas) but Oakley slept most of the day, looking so pitiful, and waking up basically only to vomit. Gross. I stayed home with him while everyone else went out to go to the bookstore or something, I'm not entirely sure where they went, but I don't blame them for wanting to get out of the house. While they were out, Phil's grandparents found out I am Canadian. Luckily, this occurred right after I was looking through a book on New Brunswick they had, and grandma Dorothy was telling me about a trip they took to New Brunswick/Nova Scotia, and I was telling her I had family in Nova Scotia which she found odd until she found out I am Canadian and most of my family is on the east coast. Friday night was spent sleeping partially on the floor of the living room, which wasn't any better than the floor of the room I'd been sleeping on before until Oakley almost threw up on me from the couch. After I cleaned him and the floor off, I went to sleep on the the tiny love seat, which wasn't very comfortable either. Not much sleep on Christmas Eve.
Saturday, Christmas, wasn't very eventful. We opened most of our presents in the late morning, but Oakley was still not feeling great (but some better) and was asleep, and so was Elliot. We saved some of their presents until that night when our last traveler arrived and then did her presents and the remainder of the kids' stuff. I found a book (that I gave to Phil to give to me for Christmas) with the Starbucks' Cranberry Bliss Bar recipe.... We'll have to see how that works out. Phil, Oliver, and "Aunt Carrot" a.k.a. Phil's sister made dinosaur sugar cookies while I took a much needed nap, and by dinner, Oakley was almost back to his regular self. Oliver and Oakley finally got the hang of unwrapping presents this year, so it was fun to watch them tear into stuff with excitement.
Sunday, we hit up the day after Christmas sales. I love Denver's malls. I am so jealous! The Cherry Creek mall is awesome, and it's probably a good thing I don't live so close to it. I didn't get to explore it as much as I would have liked though, but I did get four new pairs of jeans at Macy's since they were having a denim sale, and all of my jeans fit very, very poorly (in a good way!) Plus, not only did I get jeans on sale, but I found jeans that FIT on sale. I have trouble finding a good length, and I have smallish thighs, so jeans are hard for me to find a lot of the time. But I got four pairs! I need to clean out my jean drawer now, but that's okay. We headed to REI afterwards and let the guys shop around while I hung out in the car (the kids had fallen asleep) with my book.
We got back to the house around two, I think, and since we'd planned on leaving around four, got right to packing. I'm proud to say that we got everything packed and in the car in under an hour. So far, the only thing that has been found that we forgot was a pair of p.j.s.
We headed out and stopped in Loveland, Co at a P.F. Changs for dinner. They said the wait was about 30-45 minutes, so we waited. About a half hour and our buzzer goes off. Hooray! We get to the table, and the waitress notices that there are five of us, not four, even though I told the hostess five. This table won't work for us, she says. It'll only about about ten more minutes for a table for five though, she says. Another half hour goes by, we're very hungry and just want to eat so we can get back on the road before we get too sleepy. We finally get a table, order as fast as anyone ever has, I think, eat, and head back out. The weather was considerably better on the way home, thank goodness, and we made it home in about 20 hours (including the two hour-ish stop at P.F. Changs, another hour at a Burger King for breakfast, and getting gas, etc...)
We got home Monday around 1 p.m. and starting doing chores we hadn't had time to do before we left. We reorganized the entire playroom to have room for all the new stuff, plus we moved the train table in there, did laundry, dishes, a quick trip to the store for milk and other essentials....
It's good to be home. I've missed my bed, my shower, my laptop, my kitchen with it's regular food, and not having to constantly wonder if the kids will actually eat "that". Denver has things I will miss too, though. Having Phil's grandma, sister, brother, and uncle in the house with us was like having a bunch of nannies for my kids. I had to change very few diapers, and the kids were entertained pretty much the whole time, Elliot got spoiled by being able to be held most of the time, which I can't do when I'm at home alone with all the kids, and Phil's grandparents are fun too. His grandma is convinced that Oakley is some sort of genius because he can do jigsaw puzzles, and that Oliver is a genius because he is fully potty trained, LOL.
I doubt anybody cared to have this much detail about our trip, but there it is.
Okay, first of all, let me tell you that we thought the drive down would take about 15 hours. A long time sure, but we planned on doing most of the driving at night while the kids were asleep, and compared to having to buy four plane tickets (plus whatever extra fees they decide to throw at you) and renting a car when we got there (add extra fees since Phil and I are both under 25...) driving was much more affordable.
Well, everything was going according to plan, we left around 6:30 p.m. (Sunday, December 19) got snacks and gas and headed out. Enter Montana and it's blizzards. We couldn't go much faster than 45 mph, which slowed the trip down to about a 24 hour drive instead of 15. We got there safely though, and Phil's Grandma was just happy as could be to have all her great-grandchildren visiting her.
Tuesday, we went and got a few groceries early in the morning (I wish our Target was a Super Target!) and in the afternoon went to the Aquarium. It looked pretty small from the outside, but the inside was huge! Plus, they had a random tiger there, so that was cool. The boys had a blast there, and if I weren't so tired/lazy, I'd upload the pictures now and add them to the post, but that will just have to wait.
Wednesday we went out and did some Christmas shopping at the Colorado Mills mall near the grandparents' house. Although, we had to make quite a few stops there, so Phil thought of it as a second home) We found a super cute neon orange vinyl giraffe for Oakley that he loves (and was on clearance!), a book for Elliot, (Oliver had gotten a train that morning at the Target), I got some new bras (ones that fit! but that's a different story....), and a super cute pair of heels that were a ridiculously good price. Brian, my brother-in-law asked me how many pairs of heels I own.. I didn't know, so I'll have to count them soon.
Thursday we took the morning slow, and went to the zoo in the late morning. This was not really great planning on our part, since the kids were cranky and needing naps not long after we got there. Also, the batteries in my camera were dying. Not my favourite. This happened last year when we went to the Seattle zoo, so now two years in a row, I barely have any pictures of the kids at a zoo, but whatever. Also on Thursday, we got something fixed on our Jeep. We are so grateful that we bought the extended warrantee, since the part that would normally have cost over $1000 cost us only $100 including diagnostics and labour. Something about a control module or something? I don't know much about the car parts, and I doubt any of my readers do either, but in case you were wondering. That night, after the kids had gone to bed, Phil and I went out with his sister and brother, and got ice cream at ColdStone, shopped a bit at Barnes and Nobles (note: a rewards card for Borders will NOT work here, my mistake.) and then I got a pair shoes at DSW, and we shopped at Old Navy since they were staying open all night for the holidays. I'm not sure why, but since I got a bunch of stuff that was priced $10 or less, I was okay with it. :)
Friday, poor Oakley woke up sick and throwing up. We didn't do much but sit around reading (which was fine with me since I got a new book for Christmas) but Oakley slept most of the day, looking so pitiful, and waking up basically only to vomit. Gross. I stayed home with him while everyone else went out to go to the bookstore or something, I'm not entirely sure where they went, but I don't blame them for wanting to get out of the house. While they were out, Phil's grandparents found out I am Canadian. Luckily, this occurred right after I was looking through a book on New Brunswick they had, and grandma Dorothy was telling me about a trip they took to New Brunswick/Nova Scotia, and I was telling her I had family in Nova Scotia which she found odd until she found out I am Canadian and most of my family is on the east coast. Friday night was spent sleeping partially on the floor of the living room, which wasn't any better than the floor of the room I'd been sleeping on before until Oakley almost threw up on me from the couch. After I cleaned him and the floor off, I went to sleep on the the tiny love seat, which wasn't very comfortable either. Not much sleep on Christmas Eve.
Saturday, Christmas, wasn't very eventful. We opened most of our presents in the late morning, but Oakley was still not feeling great (but some better) and was asleep, and so was Elliot. We saved some of their presents until that night when our last traveler arrived and then did her presents and the remainder of the kids' stuff. I found a book (that I gave to Phil to give to me for Christmas) with the Starbucks' Cranberry Bliss Bar recipe.... We'll have to see how that works out. Phil, Oliver, and "Aunt Carrot" a.k.a. Phil's sister made dinosaur sugar cookies while I took a much needed nap, and by dinner, Oakley was almost back to his regular self. Oliver and Oakley finally got the hang of unwrapping presents this year, so it was fun to watch them tear into stuff with excitement.
Sunday, we hit up the day after Christmas sales. I love Denver's malls. I am so jealous! The Cherry Creek mall is awesome, and it's probably a good thing I don't live so close to it. I didn't get to explore it as much as I would have liked though, but I did get four new pairs of jeans at Macy's since they were having a denim sale, and all of my jeans fit very, very poorly (in a good way!) Plus, not only did I get jeans on sale, but I found jeans that FIT on sale. I have trouble finding a good length, and I have smallish thighs, so jeans are hard for me to find a lot of the time. But I got four pairs! I need to clean out my jean drawer now, but that's okay. We headed to REI afterwards and let the guys shop around while I hung out in the car (the kids had fallen asleep) with my book.
We got back to the house around two, I think, and since we'd planned on leaving around four, got right to packing. I'm proud to say that we got everything packed and in the car in under an hour. So far, the only thing that has been found that we forgot was a pair of p.j.s.
We headed out and stopped in Loveland, Co at a P.F. Changs for dinner. They said the wait was about 30-45 minutes, so we waited. About a half hour and our buzzer goes off. Hooray! We get to the table, and the waitress notices that there are five of us, not four, even though I told the hostess five. This table won't work for us, she says. It'll only about about ten more minutes for a table for five though, she says. Another half hour goes by, we're very hungry and just want to eat so we can get back on the road before we get too sleepy. We finally get a table, order as fast as anyone ever has, I think, eat, and head back out. The weather was considerably better on the way home, thank goodness, and we made it home in about 20 hours (including the two hour-ish stop at P.F. Changs, another hour at a Burger King for breakfast, and getting gas, etc...)
We got home Monday around 1 p.m. and starting doing chores we hadn't had time to do before we left. We reorganized the entire playroom to have room for all the new stuff, plus we moved the train table in there, did laundry, dishes, a quick trip to the store for milk and other essentials....
It's good to be home. I've missed my bed, my shower, my laptop, my kitchen with it's regular food, and not having to constantly wonder if the kids will actually eat "that". Denver has things I will miss too, though. Having Phil's grandma, sister, brother, and uncle in the house with us was like having a bunch of nannies for my kids. I had to change very few diapers, and the kids were entertained pretty much the whole time, Elliot got spoiled by being able to be held most of the time, which I can't do when I'm at home alone with all the kids, and Phil's grandparents are fun too. His grandma is convinced that Oakley is some sort of genius because he can do jigsaw puzzles, and that Oliver is a genius because he is fully potty trained, LOL.
I doubt anybody cared to have this much detail about our trip, but there it is.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Pink Friday Madness.
Also known as Black Friday, Amy renamed our Day of Jubilee "Sparkly Pink Friday" this morning. We felt it better emphasized the fun and magicalness of the savings and shopping until you drop.
I decided to pull an all-nighter before going shopping since Monica was picking me up at 1 a.m. after she hit up Walmart. We went to Toys R Us, waited in line for about a half hour before we got in. While we were waiting in line, some ladies in an SUV pull up next to us and ask what we're waiting in line for. I point to the store. Monica tells them it's because we're waiting to get in the store. They ask why. Well, obviously, in the snow, it wasn't because we just love waiting in lines so much, but that they were staggering the number of people they were letting in. The line moved so quickly inside though! We were out by two :)
We had some time to kill before the next store opened, although later we remembered that we could have gone to the Old Navy, but I'm happy with the way we spent our "intermission." Amy works as a dispatcher for the P.D. and we hung out (quietly and unobtrusively) in the dispatching room eating chips and dip. It was a very quiet night for them, minus one entertaining 911 call. Amy got off work at 4 a.m., at which point her mom, grandma, aunt, and a friend of the family also met us at the police department, and we headed off to JC Penny's. (Free Snowglobes!)
I managed to get three snowglobes, one for each of my boys, and then looked around, but this year, for one of the first times, I was trying really hard not to buy myself things. This is something I always struggle with when Christmas shopping! I was saving most of my money for toys, etc.. for my kids and nieces and nephew, but I did find a cute shirt that came home with me. Next was Macy's. I found Phil a couple things (shhh! It's a secret!) A cast-iron casserole dish rediculously on sale! and a meat thermometer, not on sale, but useful since the kids got a hold of our previous one and broke it. I also found a really cute black Guess wallet on clearance (plus my coupon) that will match the black Guess purse Phil got me for Christmas.
Across the street to Target. We were actually kind of thankful for all the snow we had this year since it kept a lot of people home and the stores were nowhere nearly as crazy as they usually are. Target and Kohls are usually the worst ones in Coeur d'Alene, and they were not bad at all today. I didn't get shoved once today! At Target, I found a doll for a niece, a truck for a nephew, a sleeping bag for one of my boys, a LeapFrog learning game thingy for Oliver with a game, a Toy Story memory card game for $3, a book for Oakley, Big Bang seasons 1 & 2 for either me or Phil for only $12 a season, and I feel like there was more, but can't think of anything else. In any case, I got a $10 Target card for my endeavor, so I'm happy. Plus, I got to pick out some Christmas presents from Monica (hello fun eye shadows!)
Starbucks drive-thru on the way to Kohls. People were not happy with us. Seven ladies in a van, a couple complicated drink orders... The SUV behind us kept wondering when all of our drinks would be out; they kept inching closer and closer to our van. I think it was about six or so at this point.
Kohls was strangely empty. Or, at least, empty for a Kohls on a Black Friday. There was a huge deal on alternative down reversible comforters, and five of the ladies in our vans got some. Our van was CROWED after that stop! I did find bedding for Oliver for his birthday (Dinosaurs!) $35 for the comforter, sheets, pillow cases, shams, and bedskirt. I thought this was a great deal since the set I'd looked at at Target was $60. I also bought the decorative pillows because they were just too cute to resist. Found a little digger toy for Oakley, a toy with magnetic gears for Elliot, earrings for both Monica and Amy for our gift exchange, and again, I feel like there was more, but this was like 16 hours ago, and I just don't remember. I feel like I should get a prize or award or something for this shopping day. I didn't buy any shoes or dresses, and almost no pajamas until I got to Walmart and found a pair for $4. How could I resist that?
Afterwards, we went to Fred Meyer to find boots Monica wanted that were highly on sale. I went with her since I had spent all I should have at this point, and when we got to the boots, we couldn't find the ones she had seen in the ads anywhere. We saw a similar boot by the same brand, but they weren't as winter friendly, so we carried them around looking for something else that would suffice. Having found another very similar boot by a different brand, we start looking for her size, and tucked behind those boxes was the original boots she wanted, in her size, in the right colour. It was very exciting. Maybe we were even a little too excited, but we'd be shopping for a very long time on no sleep, so we took our victories where we could find them.
We had planned on also going to ShopKo afterwards and maybe even Michaels, but everyone decided that the van was full (which for those of us sitting in the very back, it really, really was!) and our wallets were empty and fatigued, so we headed home. We made a quick stop at Amy's mom's house for some much needed breakfast (Hooray, omelettes!)
Monica lives on my street, and after dropping everyone else off, she got a text from her husband asking to get milk on her way home. Walmart is uber close to our house, so we stopped there thinking it would have died down. It was pretty empty like a lot of the other stores throughout the day, which we really appreciated. We decided to look around, just a quick glance to see what all was left since Monica had been there at midnight. They had Cricut cartridges on sale for $20, but they were all lame ones, so I skipped those. I did get a little, tiny Croc-pot for $3 which I plan on bringing to our Ladies' gift exchange at meeting, and also "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" for $2, plus the aforementioned pajama pants for $4. Oh, how I love Black Friday shopping.
I had been hoping to get back in time to put everything I bought in it's hiding spot and maybe take a nap before Phil got home with the kids (it was about 10 a.m.) but alas, they walked in the front door just as I was walking upstairs from putting things away. Luckily, I have an awesome husband, and he didn't wake me up when I passed out in the recliner, and let me sleep for a couple hours. My day is completely thrown off. I need to go to bed and try to rectify this. I'll post the few pictures I took of our shopping adventure at a later date.....
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Winter Warriors
I run with a group called "Winter Warriors"
We run outside.
From November to February.
This seemed like an easy choice and a good way to keep me motivated throughout the winter and stay in shape for the two half-marathons I'm hoping to do in the spring. I forgot that we were expecting a real winter this year, and not a prolonged fall like last year....
I went out last week and bought YakTrax (basically for free with a card the store sent me, Yay!) thinking I wouldn't have to use them for several weeks. Then came Sunday's downpour of snow, then Monday's blizzard, and today's gentle, but still very cold addition.
I feel very proud (or crazy?) to say that I went tonight anyways. The temperature was somewhere between 2-8 degrees (F) and while I only did one loop (2.25 miles) I feel somewhat like an actual warrior for having gone in the first place. Also, YakTrax are amazing! I didn't slip once and felt totally secure running on the packed snow/ice combo.
That's all for now. I just wanted my latest post to be more of a positive one than the one before. :) Happy snow to all!
We run outside.
From November to February.
This seemed like an easy choice and a good way to keep me motivated throughout the winter and stay in shape for the two half-marathons I'm hoping to do in the spring. I forgot that we were expecting a real winter this year, and not a prolonged fall like last year....
I went out last week and bought YakTrax (basically for free with a card the store sent me, Yay!) thinking I wouldn't have to use them for several weeks. Then came Sunday's downpour of snow, then Monday's blizzard, and today's gentle, but still very cold addition.
I feel very proud (or crazy?) to say that I went tonight anyways. The temperature was somewhere between 2-8 degrees (F) and while I only did one loop (2.25 miles) I feel somewhat like an actual warrior for having gone in the first place. Also, YakTrax are amazing! I didn't slip once and felt totally secure running on the packed snow/ice combo.
That's all for now. I just wanted my latest post to be more of a positive one than the one before. :) Happy snow to all!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Vanilla Pudding.
So, I had two out of three wisdom teeth pulled out on Friday. Not a fan so far. It's not so much the discomfort; I can deal with the pain, (though my medicine hardly seems to be helping) it's the fact that I'm so HUNGRY. I've had maybe two real meals since Thursday night, and I've lost a couple pounds already, which I'm totally okay with, but there's so many foods in my house I want to eat. Phil and I went grocery shopping today, I was just sad at all the food I'm going to miss out on this week while I'm recovering.
Speaking of which, the recovery hasn't been much fun. Again, not because of the feeling of having been jabbed in the jaw multiple times, but because Oakley was throwing up all Saturday, and I had to make Ellie's birthday cake/cupcakes, and I just really wanted to take a nap, but the house smelled like vomit (still does a little, gross!) and I had a one-year-old's party to prepare for.
Today wasn't much better. Still feeling like I've gone ten rounds in the ring, I would not recommend singing at meeting (church) so much, and then trying to visit with others. During potluck, a phone call informing me of a stroke that I couldn't hear half of because Elliot was screaming bloody murder, and Phil was upstairs chasing down Oliver who turns out had diarrhea. All could have gone without.
My only comforts, God has a perfect plan, Wilfred is stable, boys seem to be over their "issues", an excellent throw blanket I bought myself as a present for getting teeth ripped out, and vanilla pudding.
Whining over. I'm going to make myself some Twinings Lady Grey tea. It's going to be great.
Speaking of which, the recovery hasn't been much fun. Again, not because of the feeling of having been jabbed in the jaw multiple times, but because Oakley was throwing up all Saturday, and I had to make Ellie's birthday cake/cupcakes, and I just really wanted to take a nap, but the house smelled like vomit (still does a little, gross!) and I had a one-year-old's party to prepare for.
Today wasn't much better. Still feeling like I've gone ten rounds in the ring, I would not recommend singing at meeting (church) so much, and then trying to visit with others. During potluck, a phone call informing me of a stroke that I couldn't hear half of because Elliot was screaming bloody murder, and Phil was upstairs chasing down Oliver who turns out had diarrhea. All could have gone without.
My only comforts, God has a perfect plan, Wilfred is stable, boys seem to be over their "issues", an excellent throw blanket I bought myself as a present for getting teeth ripped out, and vanilla pudding.
Whining over. I'm going to make myself some Twinings Lady Grey tea. It's going to be great.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Birth Stories for Joanna.
Joanna, my sister-in-law, was asking about people's birth stories (she's a few weeks out from having Margot :) so I thought instead of replying on the comments portion of her blog, I'd write out my three birth stories here since they are among the top five most important moments in my life.
Chapter One, Oliver.
Oliver. A child of surprises. Conceived by surprise, and born at a very inopportune time (for me, he was perfectly prompt by God's timing.)
Phil and I had gotten home from a New Year's Eve party at about 12:30. That's right, we party hard ;) and went straight to bed, with me falling asleep around 1 a.m.
2:30 a.m. I wake up with bad cramps. I am in slight pain, but try to do the breathing exercises to ease them. Phil wakes up to the sounds of my breathing, and asks if everything is okay. I tell him I'm sure it's false labour, Braxton Hicks, or something, and to go back to sleep. I don't go back to sleep due to discomfort.
7 a.m. Still have the weird cramps going on, Phil goes to work for his dad, and tells me to call if anything happens. I've read and reread all my pregnancy/labour books, and am SURE that this isn't real labour. I don't have most of the signs, and the pain isn't concentrated on my back like the books say it should be.
8 a.m. My mom is worried about me. She doesn't question me (since she knows pregnant women are not to be triffled with) but suggests I call my friend, Kate, who was studying to be a midwife. I do. Kate was one of three hosting the party last night and doesn't sound terribly awake when I call her. I tell her not to worry and just to come by when she has time.
10:30 (ish) a.m. Kate shows up with Amy. They think for sure I'm in labour. I show them the books. But the pains are getting worse and closer together, so I'm inclined to go get checked out at the hospital just in case.
Meanwhile, we walk around, I try to eat protein-rich snacks since I'm still going on practically no sleep and am expecting to still have a lot of pushing, etc... ahead of me.
Phil comes home at some point, I don't remember the time. Contractions, I admittedly call them that at this point, are getting worse, so it's time to pack the hospital bag.
4 p.m. or somewhere around there, Joel has to leave to go to the airport. I don't remember how he got there, since my mom and Dennis were staying home, but anyways, he misses his nephew's birth by a couple of hours.
6 p.m. We've waited around the house waiting it out since there is more privacy than a hospital, and I'm bound to be more comfortable. We watched Step It Up (right?) to take my mind of the contractions, but it's time to start heading out. Dennis prays with all of us before we walk out the door, saying, "Bless this mess." If you know Dennis, this is normal and funny, and would wind up being very appropriate.
There's a really nice snowstorm going on. Amy is driving my Nissan Altima (I sort of miss that car!) Phil is riding up front, and Kate and I are in the back working on my breathing. I remember it being a very slow ride to the hospital, which luckily isn't very far away, and Amy being terrified of killing us on the way out.
7 p.m. (ish?) My memory from here on is a little fuzzier, but we get in and checked-in to the hospital without incident, and am brought up to the maternity ward. Doc comes in in a fishing vest and a t-shirt with a trout on it if I recall correctly. He says I'm fully effaced, and about ready to start pushing, but once they get the baby heart monitor on, they realize something is wrong. Every time I get a contraction, the baby's heart rate goes from 140 down to 40. Terrifying, if you've ever heard it. They do an ultrasound to see what is wrong, and we find out that the cord is wrapped around his neck and that he is breach. When I get a contraction, it pushes him further down, further choking him.
Doctor suggests an immediate emergency C-section. Amy's grandpa, who married Phil and I, stops by right as I'm signing the waiver for the C-section and prays for us. (By the way, my heart is racing as I'm writing/recalling all this. It was not pleasant.)
7:30 p.m. ish. I've been awake for a very long time, been having contractions for a very long time, and just want to meet my baby. I'm wheeled into the operating room. It's very different than I pictured it. Scary. I'm hyper-ventilating, and making it so that I'm making it worse for the baby and the overall situation. The nurses keep trying to get me to calm down (the same ones that highly annoyed Amy by calling the baby "Baby Doll") but I can't calm myself. They have to put me completely under so I can breathe normally and stop shaking. On the plus side, I discover this wonderful thing called the Bear Hug Blanket. It's amazing. One of the last things I remember is being able to see a very unflattering view of myself in one of the mirrors in the room before passing out.
9 or 9:30 p.m. I wake up in the recovery section to the voices of a nurse and a male talking about how beautiful my baby boy was. I find out I had a boy. (Unconclusive before then since Oliver was a fan of crossing his legs for ultrasounds) I'm kind of mad I heard it from them in passing instead of having been able to be awake and have Phil declare the sex of the baby as per our birthing plan, but happy that my baby is alive. I realize it's a very strange sensation to not be able to feel anything from about my chest down. The nurse tells me I can go see my baby after I'm able to wiggle my toes. Never have I put so much effort into trying to do such a simple thing.
9:30 p.m. ish. I am allowed to go back to the maternity ward and am being rolled there on a gurney. I see a lot of people in the hall and remember waving to someone awkwardly. I am handed Oliver. He is the most precious thing I've ever seen. Perfection. Nurses come in and out just to get a look at him over the next couple of days. I try to get and walk WAY too soon and vomit. Rally and take it easier the next few hours. I have the cutest baby, and he's healthy despite all the dramatics, everything is going to be okay.
Chapter Two, Oakley.
Oliver is such a wonderful baby, seriously! that we decide to start trying again for another one. Not thinking we'd get pregnant on the first try (we still live with my parents!) Oliver is about 4 months old. My OB/GYN informs me that our hospital has a policy against VBACs (Vaginal Births After Cesarian) for some reason, so I'll need another C-section for this one. It's weird having a day circled on the calendar saying when I'll have my baby, but kind of nice. I keep thinking he'll try to come early and be dramatic like Oliver, but February 22nd rolls around without much incident. We did go to the hospital once when I thought I was in labour, but it wasn't anything.
I'm absolutely terrified of another C-section. I want to be awake for this one so I can actually see my baby when he is born, not hours later. Plus, it's just mean to tell a pregnant woman she can't eat for twelve hours before surgery. Just mean! My C-section is scheduled for noon. We get to the hospital with plenty of time to spare, and I'm still very much uneased. I try to joke about it, but I just want to go home and skip this part. I worry about how much it will hurt even with anesthesia.
Again, as I'm being rolled to the O.R., I'm violently shaking and am re-introduced to the Bear Hug Blanket. I need one of these in my home. The warmth of the blanket helps calm me down, but that stupid mirror is still in the same spot so all I can see over the blanket that shields the view of the cutting spot, is again, the very unflattering view of my vagina. Awesome. Look at something else. Not sure why that's even necessary since that's not where the baby's coming out of, but I digress.
I am finally calmed down some, the doctor, his assistant, and the anesthesiologist are talking about motorcycles while performing surgery. Whatever. As long as my baby comes out fine. Oakley is born at 12:14. I'm amazed it only took 14 minutes to get him out. I can feel tugging and such as they're doing whatever else (getting all the placenta out, etc...) and while it might make some gag, I think it's kind of cool, and am excited at the prospect of spending less time in the recovery ward.
I have the best nurse ever during the nights at the hospital. I think her name was Denise. She was born in Guam. She's a big fan of Oakley, his name, his blankie, and I introduce her to Jack Johnson. I was sad that I didn't see her when I went it with Elliot. She was cool.
Chapter 3, Elliot.
Another surprise child! I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Not happy tears. I wasn't ready for this! How will we afford another kid? God has his own timing, and I wouldn't trade Elliot for anything.
Another planned C-section, though this time, a different doctor. I "fired" my last OB/GYN after he made a rude and inappropriate comment at a post-baby check-up. My new doctor is very, very nice and has a bedside manner. Shocking! And by bedside manner, I don't mean lewd comments. C-section is scheduled for February 8th. Again, I keep expecting that the baby will come early. I'm also slightly, okay more than slightly, disappointed that it's not a girl. It's something I was so sure of. I'd always assumed God would give me a girl and we'd have that special bond, but again, I wouldn't trade Elliot for anything.
The couple of weeks leading up to the C-section, I keep thinking about how nervous and shaky I got with the previous ones, and Phil and I pray for peace about it.
We get to the hospital at 6:45 a.m., and they had an emergency C-section so I'm bumped back a slot. This is fine. I am miraculously calm and totally at peace. I manage to sneak a nap in. God is awesome! They come in to draw blood and put in the i.v., etc.... I am slightly squeamish at needles, and it takes two nurses five tries to get the iv in. Yuck. Amy, who is always with me when I'm at the hospital about to birth cute babies for her to hold, looks like she's going to vomit. I have a picture to prove it. I just tried to spell prove "proove." My mom is there too. And of course, Phil. I have an awesome support group. I am totally calm when being rolled into O.R. this time around. I was here less than a two years ago. And again the year before. This blows my mind a little. I avoid the mirror this go around. I know right where it is. The doctor does not talk about motorcycles while cutting into me, which is more comforting. Bear Hug and I greet like old friends. The anesthesiologist offers to take pictures of Phil and I. This is the first time we find out we've been allowed to bring in our camera. Grr. I would've like to get pictures of my other kids too. Oh well, that's past. I get to actually hold Elliot after he is born while they close me up. This has been a wonderfully different experience for me. Phil takes some sweet, kind of gory pictures of my surgery, and the anesthesiologist takes pictures of Phil, Elliot and I. We're a happy family.
Recovery goes well too. Phil's mom is wonderful enough to fly up from California to take care of Oliver and Oakley while Phil juggles work and visiting me at the hospital. At the end of day two, I take a long walk through the halls of the maternity ward (nurses kind of yell at me), and am dressing myself, showered, and feeling ready to go home. I am super woman.
Chapter One, Oliver.
Oliver. A child of surprises. Conceived by surprise, and born at a very inopportune time (for me, he was perfectly prompt by God's timing.)
Phil and I had gotten home from a New Year's Eve party at about 12:30. That's right, we party hard ;) and went straight to bed, with me falling asleep around 1 a.m.
2:30 a.m. I wake up with bad cramps. I am in slight pain, but try to do the breathing exercises to ease them. Phil wakes up to the sounds of my breathing, and asks if everything is okay. I tell him I'm sure it's false labour, Braxton Hicks, or something, and to go back to sleep. I don't go back to sleep due to discomfort.
7 a.m. Still have the weird cramps going on, Phil goes to work for his dad, and tells me to call if anything happens. I've read and reread all my pregnancy/labour books, and am SURE that this isn't real labour. I don't have most of the signs, and the pain isn't concentrated on my back like the books say it should be.
8 a.m. My mom is worried about me. She doesn't question me (since she knows pregnant women are not to be triffled with) but suggests I call my friend, Kate, who was studying to be a midwife. I do. Kate was one of three hosting the party last night and doesn't sound terribly awake when I call her. I tell her not to worry and just to come by when she has time.
10:30 (ish) a.m. Kate shows up with Amy. They think for sure I'm in labour. I show them the books. But the pains are getting worse and closer together, so I'm inclined to go get checked out at the hospital just in case.
Meanwhile, we walk around, I try to eat protein-rich snacks since I'm still going on practically no sleep and am expecting to still have a lot of pushing, etc... ahead of me.
Phil comes home at some point, I don't remember the time. Contractions, I admittedly call them that at this point, are getting worse, so it's time to pack the hospital bag.
4 p.m. or somewhere around there, Joel has to leave to go to the airport. I don't remember how he got there, since my mom and Dennis were staying home, but anyways, he misses his nephew's birth by a couple of hours.
6 p.m. We've waited around the house waiting it out since there is more privacy than a hospital, and I'm bound to be more comfortable. We watched Step It Up (right?) to take my mind of the contractions, but it's time to start heading out. Dennis prays with all of us before we walk out the door, saying, "Bless this mess." If you know Dennis, this is normal and funny, and would wind up being very appropriate.
There's a really nice snowstorm going on. Amy is driving my Nissan Altima (I sort of miss that car!) Phil is riding up front, and Kate and I are in the back working on my breathing. I remember it being a very slow ride to the hospital, which luckily isn't very far away, and Amy being terrified of killing us on the way out.
7 p.m. (ish?) My memory from here on is a little fuzzier, but we get in and checked-in to the hospital without incident, and am brought up to the maternity ward. Doc comes in in a fishing vest and a t-shirt with a trout on it if I recall correctly. He says I'm fully effaced, and about ready to start pushing, but once they get the baby heart monitor on, they realize something is wrong. Every time I get a contraction, the baby's heart rate goes from 140 down to 40. Terrifying, if you've ever heard it. They do an ultrasound to see what is wrong, and we find out that the cord is wrapped around his neck and that he is breach. When I get a contraction, it pushes him further down, further choking him.
Doctor suggests an immediate emergency C-section. Amy's grandpa, who married Phil and I, stops by right as I'm signing the waiver for the C-section and prays for us. (By the way, my heart is racing as I'm writing/recalling all this. It was not pleasant.)
7:30 p.m. ish. I've been awake for a very long time, been having contractions for a very long time, and just want to meet my baby. I'm wheeled into the operating room. It's very different than I pictured it. Scary. I'm hyper-ventilating, and making it so that I'm making it worse for the baby and the overall situation. The nurses keep trying to get me to calm down (the same ones that highly annoyed Amy by calling the baby "Baby Doll") but I can't calm myself. They have to put me completely under so I can breathe normally and stop shaking. On the plus side, I discover this wonderful thing called the Bear Hug Blanket. It's amazing. One of the last things I remember is being able to see a very unflattering view of myself in one of the mirrors in the room before passing out.
9 or 9:30 p.m. I wake up in the recovery section to the voices of a nurse and a male talking about how beautiful my baby boy was. I find out I had a boy. (Unconclusive before then since Oliver was a fan of crossing his legs for ultrasounds) I'm kind of mad I heard it from them in passing instead of having been able to be awake and have Phil declare the sex of the baby as per our birthing plan, but happy that my baby is alive. I realize it's a very strange sensation to not be able to feel anything from about my chest down. The nurse tells me I can go see my baby after I'm able to wiggle my toes. Never have I put so much effort into trying to do such a simple thing.
9:30 p.m. ish. I am allowed to go back to the maternity ward and am being rolled there on a gurney. I see a lot of people in the hall and remember waving to someone awkwardly. I am handed Oliver. He is the most precious thing I've ever seen. Perfection. Nurses come in and out just to get a look at him over the next couple of days. I try to get and walk WAY too soon and vomit. Rally and take it easier the next few hours. I have the cutest baby, and he's healthy despite all the dramatics, everything is going to be okay.
Chapter Two, Oakley.
Oliver is such a wonderful baby, seriously! that we decide to start trying again for another one. Not thinking we'd get pregnant on the first try (we still live with my parents!) Oliver is about 4 months old. My OB/GYN informs me that our hospital has a policy against VBACs (Vaginal Births After Cesarian) for some reason, so I'll need another C-section for this one. It's weird having a day circled on the calendar saying when I'll have my baby, but kind of nice. I keep thinking he'll try to come early and be dramatic like Oliver, but February 22nd rolls around without much incident. We did go to the hospital once when I thought I was in labour, but it wasn't anything.
I'm absolutely terrified of another C-section. I want to be awake for this one so I can actually see my baby when he is born, not hours later. Plus, it's just mean to tell a pregnant woman she can't eat for twelve hours before surgery. Just mean! My C-section is scheduled for noon. We get to the hospital with plenty of time to spare, and I'm still very much uneased. I try to joke about it, but I just want to go home and skip this part. I worry about how much it will hurt even with anesthesia.
Again, as I'm being rolled to the O.R., I'm violently shaking and am re-introduced to the Bear Hug Blanket. I need one of these in my home. The warmth of the blanket helps calm me down, but that stupid mirror is still in the same spot so all I can see over the blanket that shields the view of the cutting spot, is again, the very unflattering view of my vagina. Awesome. Look at something else. Not sure why that's even necessary since that's not where the baby's coming out of, but I digress.
I am finally calmed down some, the doctor, his assistant, and the anesthesiologist are talking about motorcycles while performing surgery. Whatever. As long as my baby comes out fine. Oakley is born at 12:14. I'm amazed it only took 14 minutes to get him out. I can feel tugging and such as they're doing whatever else (getting all the placenta out, etc...) and while it might make some gag, I think it's kind of cool, and am excited at the prospect of spending less time in the recovery ward.
I have the best nurse ever during the nights at the hospital. I think her name was Denise. She was born in Guam. She's a big fan of Oakley, his name, his blankie, and I introduce her to Jack Johnson. I was sad that I didn't see her when I went it with Elliot. She was cool.
Chapter 3, Elliot.
Another surprise child! I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Not happy tears. I wasn't ready for this! How will we afford another kid? God has his own timing, and I wouldn't trade Elliot for anything.
Another planned C-section, though this time, a different doctor. I "fired" my last OB/GYN after he made a rude and inappropriate comment at a post-baby check-up. My new doctor is very, very nice and has a bedside manner. Shocking! And by bedside manner, I don't mean lewd comments. C-section is scheduled for February 8th. Again, I keep expecting that the baby will come early. I'm also slightly, okay more than slightly, disappointed that it's not a girl. It's something I was so sure of. I'd always assumed God would give me a girl and we'd have that special bond, but again, I wouldn't trade Elliot for anything.
The couple of weeks leading up to the C-section, I keep thinking about how nervous and shaky I got with the previous ones, and Phil and I pray for peace about it.
We get to the hospital at 6:45 a.m., and they had an emergency C-section so I'm bumped back a slot. This is fine. I am miraculously calm and totally at peace. I manage to sneak a nap in. God is awesome! They come in to draw blood and put in the i.v., etc.... I am slightly squeamish at needles, and it takes two nurses five tries to get the iv in. Yuck. Amy, who is always with me when I'm at the hospital about to birth cute babies for her to hold, looks like she's going to vomit. I have a picture to prove it. I just tried to spell prove "proove." My mom is there too. And of course, Phil. I have an awesome support group. I am totally calm when being rolled into O.R. this time around. I was here less than a two years ago. And again the year before. This blows my mind a little. I avoid the mirror this go around. I know right where it is. The doctor does not talk about motorcycles while cutting into me, which is more comforting. Bear Hug and I greet like old friends. The anesthesiologist offers to take pictures of Phil and I. This is the first time we find out we've been allowed to bring in our camera. Grr. I would've like to get pictures of my other kids too. Oh well, that's past. I get to actually hold Elliot after he is born while they close me up. This has been a wonderfully different experience for me. Phil takes some sweet, kind of gory pictures of my surgery, and the anesthesiologist takes pictures of Phil, Elliot and I. We're a happy family.
Recovery goes well too. Phil's mom is wonderful enough to fly up from California to take care of Oliver and Oakley while Phil juggles work and visiting me at the hospital. At the end of day two, I take a long walk through the halls of the maternity ward (nurses kind of yell at me), and am dressing myself, showered, and feeling ready to go home. I am super woman.
Quiet Quilting project makes me want to Quite Quit sometimes.
So, I don't have much to say about this quilt.
It seemed like a good idea when I started it about five years ago (March, I think will make 5) while visiting Eric and Leah in Halifax. I went to visit them over my winter break and to see Constance who had only been born the October prior. While I was there, Leah and a few other ladies from their assembly were working on making the most beautiful quilt I had ever seen for a friend's wedding present. I thought, "Hey, this looks easy enough! I should make one too!"
Leah took me to the local fabric shop and helped me choose the right materials for my quilt, and then ambitiously helped me cut out all the coloured squares and about half of the cream squares. I don't know the terms for quilting, so bear with me. Anyways, I got a few squares finished before I came back home, but once home, I got bored with it, and stored it. I've pulled it out for a while each time I've been pregnant, about until I found out I was having a boy, and then would put it away again.
I felt the urge to work on it again a few days ago, but no, I'm not pregnant! and I'm now halfway done with it. We'll see long long it takes to do the other half. I have to go back and iron/prep the squares which takes forever...
Friday, November 12, 2010
Inspired.
I miss creating. I miss working with my hands to make something that expresses. This past week I did some simple alterations of a dress of mine, and one of Michelle's (for a Ball on Saturday, but that's a different story) and I realized I've forgotten how good it feels to do something!
Doing the alterations made me want to start working on my quilt again. Yes, the same quilt I've been working on for about five years now... Before you judge, it's all by hand, no machine! and the style is fairly intricate and the work has been on and off.
Wanting to work on the quilt again has made me want to start developing the Children's Book I've had in mind for a couple years now.
Wanting to work on my Children's Book has made me want to start drawing again, painting again, scrapbooking again.
I've also been inspired by a few random websites I've come across on StumbleUpon. Seriously, if you've never been there, and you get bored, but have a short attention span, you will be entertain for a long time. I've come across so many amazing artists all doing things I would have never even thought of. I am in awe of the way some people are able to articulate their thoughts through art.
Also, I've been inspired my MyMilkToof. It's ridiculously adorable, and this is one of the other things that made me want to start working on my Children's book. Plus, I think my idea is a unique one. I know that most writers probably think this, but seriously, I think it could really be a good book that children 2-7 would really enjoy.
I feel the need to get some pencils in my hand and just draw. It's strange to me how quickly skills can diminish if you don't use them regularly. The last art class I took was when I was pregnant with Oakley, and I hadn't had the time to do much since high school, and the first day of class, we were asked to do a sketch which we would get at the end of the semester to see how much our skills improved. Now, I'm not trying to boast by any measure, I don't consider myself anywhere near one of the great artists of our time, but I've always been able to doodle above average, and I couldn't believe how much trouble I had trying to get the image in my mind on paper. And when I got it back at the end of the semester, I almost wanted to throw it away I was so embarrassed. Actually, I think I might have thrown it away. The point was, during that semester of school, even being massively pregnant and having a baby, I drew every single day. It was fantastic. Some days the drawings were just of something laying by me and while it may not have been creative, my goal was just to realistically represent this said object on paper with whatever medium I was using at the time.
So, this being said, I think I will try to draw more, paint more, write more, photograph more, sew more, but probably not scrapbook much more right now since the materials are expensive and the kids love to try to get into it.
Maybe I'll go buy a new sketchbook today. That sounds slendid.
Doing the alterations made me want to start working on my quilt again. Yes, the same quilt I've been working on for about five years now... Before you judge, it's all by hand, no machine! and the style is fairly intricate and the work has been on and off.
Wanting to work on the quilt again has made me want to start developing the Children's Book I've had in mind for a couple years now.
Wanting to work on my Children's Book has made me want to start drawing again, painting again, scrapbooking again.
I've also been inspired by a few random websites I've come across on StumbleUpon. Seriously, if you've never been there, and you get bored, but have a short attention span, you will be entertain for a long time. I've come across so many amazing artists all doing things I would have never even thought of. I am in awe of the way some people are able to articulate their thoughts through art.
Also, I've been inspired my MyMilkToof. It's ridiculously adorable, and this is one of the other things that made me want to start working on my Children's book. Plus, I think my idea is a unique one. I know that most writers probably think this, but seriously, I think it could really be a good book that children 2-7 would really enjoy.
I feel the need to get some pencils in my hand and just draw. It's strange to me how quickly skills can diminish if you don't use them regularly. The last art class I took was when I was pregnant with Oakley, and I hadn't had the time to do much since high school, and the first day of class, we were asked to do a sketch which we would get at the end of the semester to see how much our skills improved. Now, I'm not trying to boast by any measure, I don't consider myself anywhere near one of the great artists of our time, but I've always been able to doodle above average, and I couldn't believe how much trouble I had trying to get the image in my mind on paper. And when I got it back at the end of the semester, I almost wanted to throw it away I was so embarrassed. Actually, I think I might have thrown it away. The point was, during that semester of school, even being massively pregnant and having a baby, I drew every single day. It was fantastic. Some days the drawings were just of something laying by me and while it may not have been creative, my goal was just to realistically represent this said object on paper with whatever medium I was using at the time.
So, this being said, I think I will try to draw more, paint more, write more, photograph more, sew more, but probably not scrapbook much more right now since the materials are expensive and the kids love to try to get into it.
Maybe I'll go buy a new sketchbook today. That sounds slendid.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
On my mind...
I have no specific theme or topic in mind for this post, but just that I need to have a get-away for a moment from my kids. It's just been one of those days.
While this may sound very "duh!" of me while I'm on the computer and my children act as a hurricane in my livingroom, I've been feeling quite the failure as a mother lately. Oh sure, I make sure they're (mostly) clothed, fed, and freshly diapered where applicable, but I can't seem to be that mom that has some amazing project planned for every day, making a bunch of meals from scratch, keeping the house spotless, organized and perfectly labeled.
On a similar note, I've been feeling a bit like a failure as a wife/house wife too.
I don't know why. I feel lethargic a lot, tired, though I enough sleep. I've been trying to work on being more affectionate with Phil and put more effort into our marriage. It hasn't been a marriage in jeopardy or anything, but I think just with having three kids so close together and so soon after our wedding, our marriage became more about raising kids and surviving than about honouring each other and God.
Back to being a crumby housewife and stay-at-home mom though, I'm curious as to what other SAHM's "schedules" look like. A friend and neighbour of mine who also has small children always has a spotless house. Is it just me? I've never been prone to ultra cleanliness (my room up until Phil and I were married was proof enough of that) but I can never seem to get it all done. What's the deal? I even try to keep so much "Stuff" around so it'll be easier to keep neat, but at the end of each day, my house seems trashed yet again.
Forget even the unending dishes and laundry. I understand those even if I'm terribly frustrated with them. I don't understand the rest. How does the boys room get messy when they are only there for naps and to sleep at night. Granted it usually is the very least mess, but still. The playroom with oodles of toys? The boys think of it just a storage room for their toys and instead drag everything out to the livingroom to play with it. This irks me, but at the same time, I can keep an easier eye on them.
Almost done with my whining, hang with me.
I know we're not called to be EVERY aspect of the Proverbs 31 woman, but I sure would like to encompass some of her skills. If anyone has any tips, I'll take them gladly.
I guess this post turned out to have a theme after all.
While this may sound very "duh!" of me while I'm on the computer and my children act as a hurricane in my livingroom, I've been feeling quite the failure as a mother lately. Oh sure, I make sure they're (mostly) clothed, fed, and freshly diapered where applicable, but I can't seem to be that mom that has some amazing project planned for every day, making a bunch of meals from scratch, keeping the house spotless, organized and perfectly labeled.
On a similar note, I've been feeling a bit like a failure as a wife/house wife too.
I don't know why. I feel lethargic a lot, tired, though I enough sleep. I've been trying to work on being more affectionate with Phil and put more effort into our marriage. It hasn't been a marriage in jeopardy or anything, but I think just with having three kids so close together and so soon after our wedding, our marriage became more about raising kids and surviving than about honouring each other and God.
Back to being a crumby housewife and stay-at-home mom though, I'm curious as to what other SAHM's "schedules" look like. A friend and neighbour of mine who also has small children always has a spotless house. Is it just me? I've never been prone to ultra cleanliness (my room up until Phil and I were married was proof enough of that) but I can never seem to get it all done. What's the deal? I even try to keep so much "Stuff" around so it'll be easier to keep neat, but at the end of each day, my house seems trashed yet again.
Forget even the unending dishes and laundry. I understand those even if I'm terribly frustrated with them. I don't understand the rest. How does the boys room get messy when they are only there for naps and to sleep at night. Granted it usually is the very least mess, but still. The playroom with oodles of toys? The boys think of it just a storage room for their toys and instead drag everything out to the livingroom to play with it. This irks me, but at the same time, I can keep an easier eye on them.
Almost done with my whining, hang with me.
I know we're not called to be EVERY aspect of the Proverbs 31 woman, but I sure would like to encompass some of her skills. If anyone has any tips, I'll take them gladly.
I guess this post turned out to have a theme after all.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Bouquet of Freshly Sharpened Pencils.
I really do miss back-to-school shopping. I think I almost enjoyed it more than Christmas back in the day. There's nothing quite so satisfying, in my opinion, as having brand new pens, mechanical pencils with no broken lead, binders without bent corners, and erasers that can't judge you because you haven't made a mistake yet. There's something magical about it.
I remember from a very early age, about two or three weeks before school, getting all my supplies, and just spending gleeful hours making sure everything was labeled. When I was in elementary school, I would get a new set of Prismacolours every year, and while they are very expensive colouring pencils, they are also the best and I would go all the way through them just in time for the next school year and the next set to be bought. Anyways, I remember tediously sitting down with a roll of medical tape (my mom was a nurse) and making individual labels for each pencil that had my full name on it. It was glorious! My oldest son is three, so it'll still be a couple years before I get the joy of doing this for him. It's a little saddening to me, but from what I hear from moms around, school supply lists have gotten ridiculous... Nevertheless, I'm excited to have a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils at my desk, which brings the longings of any true East Coast girl, autumn in all it's glory. I live in Idaho now, which is mostly overgrown with pines, a tree I think the world could go without, but I'm sure God has it here for a very specific reason. When we bought our house, I told my husband I wanted only deciduous trees planted, and luckily for me, he also hates pine trees. We planted a maple tree and a scarlet oak, both of which are still immature, but are quite promising. We also have some maple trees that line our street for which I am ever grateful to the landscaping designer. Who would want a pine lined street?
A Letter to Phil.
This is originally a letter I started writing to Phil while he is gone hunting this weekend...it just also started sounding like a blog, so I thought I'd finish it here.
So, I'm writing this, not to complain, but because it's been a long, hard day and I just need an outlet at this point.
My day started at 1 a.m. - I'd stayed up late watching a deliciously cheesy RomCom on Hulu (I know I should have gone to bed hours before, but it's rare I get time to myself like this...) Anyways, I was about to turn the computer off, when Oakley came out of his room, still mostly asleep. He seemed like he just wanted to cuddle, so I just took him into bed with me where he somehow managed to take up about 3/4 of the bed. Not long after we'd settled in, Elliot woke up and I just stuck the bottle in his mouth, and he thankfully went back to sleep.
About 3:30 a.m. Oliver woke me up by having all the lights in the main part of the house on, and by the sound of his feet running in circles on the blankets that were on the living room floor. Turns out, this was just what he thought was the next natural step after wetting his bed. So, I changed him, but too tired to change his bed, I just took him to bed with me which was feeling smaller by the minute.
Of course, not long after, Elliot woke up and needed a fresh bottle.
Oliver stayed asleep cuddling with me until almost 7:30 when Oakley woke us up and, surprise, Elliot was hungry yet again.
The next hour and a half wasn't too bad. Made waff-waffs (toaster waffles) for the boys while they watched "Wallace and Grommit" and I caught up on some e-mails and Facebook. A slight migraine was on the horizon, but didn't fully develop until the boys started bickering the way they do.
I got dressed so I could go get Tylenol out of my car, and waiting for it to kick in, I finally got around to making myself breakfast (Eggs in a Basket, which was new for me) The pills never felt like they kicked in, which was the opposite of what I needed today.
Lunch was Chicken Noodle Soup, because I was too bleary eyed to make a "real" lunch, and because it's something the kids like and they eat it quickly. They were fighting over everything and I suspected lack of sleep had a hand in the matter. All of them took a nap, which I was super excited about. So excited, I decided to tackle the mountain of laundry on the couch (About 7-8 loads worth, I'd guess....) It took forever to get everything sorted and folded due to my ever present migraine, but I got most of it done by 3:30, when I had planned to get ready to go to T.V. day at Amy's. By four, the boys were still not up, so I told Amy and Mon that I'd just stay home in an attempt to avoid the crankiness the boys usually display after being woken up from a nap.
Not only did I miss the one things I was really looking forward to this weekend, but the kids woke up almost as cranky as they'd been before their nap. Grr.
So, Oliver picked "Bee Movie" while I made a requested Mac 'n Cheese for dinner, and at least the older two were in better moods for a while after that. Elliot was fussing, but only from being momentarily ignored and hungry. The boys thought that clinking their miniature Coke glasses was absolutely hilarious, until mean old Mom took them away because I was afraid they were doing it too hard and would end up shattering glass all over.
On a somewhat side note, the house is completely trashed. Some of it is controlled chaos like the piles of laundry, and some of it is... well, not so controlled. It's driving me up the wall, but my options are 1.) Clean it now and have Oliver and Oakley undo any progress as they follow me in a trail of destruction, or 2.) Stay up late after the boys go to bed. Both of those options suck. Even if I had the money to hire a maid to help me right now, I think I'd be too ashamed to let them in the door. It's not like the house hasn't been this messy before, it been much worse, but it's really feeling overwhelming right now. The boys have strewn those tiny Lincoln Logs everywhere, their Thomas train tracks are taking over, and at least three different sets of blocks and some play dough adorn my carpet. (I've since made them pick up these things before they went to bed, FYI)
It's just not been a great day. My least favourite part, is the one person I really want to talk to, who would understand, doesn't have cell service while out hunting. I feel badly that I semi-unloaded on Amy via texts today....
So now the kids are in bed (and it sounds like they've actually gone to sleep without any raucous!) so I can choose to either do some much needed house work, or try to relax (I still have this stupid migraine) and take a bath and just read or something....
Choices, choices.
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